5 am and I can’t sleep. No surprise there. I can’t help but to think what I’m doing what you’re doing if I cross your mind. I don’t know but you cross my mind more often than I’d like to admit and the situation at hand part of me wants for him to rip your heart out chew it up and spit it out and do what you did to me, the other half of me wants for him to treat you right what you deserve what I couldn’t give you and I hope you get everything you want out of the relationship and now i have an hourly friend.
I met her for the first time and i couldn’t tell her why I was there it wouldn’t come out. She can tell I’m depressed she says I’m depressed and very surprised I can find it in myself to get up and go to work. Because most people lose their jobs when their severly depressed and she believes I have a lot of inter strength. I’m not sure if she’s suppose to say that but I heard hope in her voice. I hate psychologists, therapist, psychiatrist whatever. Their all paid to listen to your problems and appoint you to or give you drugs. I’m not fond of any of them and a lot of personal friends know this. I texted my mom one day asked her to make an appt for a shrink. And the next morning she yells at me then cries because she says it hurts her to see me in so much pain. That was fucked. Anyway I’m sitting there with her and were finally talking i mean she’s doing all the talking I’m shy. Before I leave she tells me to look her in the eyes and that I haven’t looked at her all session even when she said “look at me”. She then tells me that I have very warm eyes and that I seem easy to talk too and to come back next week and were going to work on eye contact. I don’t understand how people read eyes.
So hopefully ill be fixed soon idk why I’m saying all this I just felt like I needed to tell someone or something…. All 33 followers lol I’m sure none of you care but I feel better with this post