I creeped your blog for the first time today. I kinda wish i hadn’t due to countless posts about “bae” and “the ex you depended on” I can’t help but to ask where I am where did I take a roll in your life was I nothing? I look at your blog and there’s nothing about me in your recent posts but you can look at my blog and every post is about you. Though I feel slightly better that I have accepted that you weren’t happy with me and it didn’t work out Im glad you’re happy now. But you were a huge part of my life I feel like you were kind of a first true love. You were an addiction the feeling you brought just from you being there in the room so when you left I had withdrawls. I felt like I couldn’t do anything without you. I couldn’t eat I couldn’t sleep I felt physical pains in my stomach from your absence. I LOST IT. I had never felt this before I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t let you go completely because our friendship ran deep to me at least Id like to think it ran deep for you too considering that we still talk occasionally hang out rarely. I’m barely part of your life and I have no idea about the future it is what it is Im trying to find out what my next step should be what’s my next move. What do I do next. Will I find myself falling for someone that feels the same as me and that will put up with me? Who knows I’m sure there is.
But crossfit needs to be a thing for me again.
So I’ve managed to fuck a lot of things up so far this year…..hopefully it ends good like me getting my head out my ass and going back to crossfit and eating right and hopefully back with you and I don’t mean you I mean you the one I pushed aside and threw away